A couple of days after A-Rod was hit by Ryan Dempster, Eric (a dumpster) started receiving death threats on Twitter.
"I am sitting here minding my own business, tweeting away like a loser, when I get a tweet from some Yankees fan telling me he wants to kick my ass. I'm a freaking dumpster for crying out loud. Don't he know that?"
But the tweeter didn't know that. He thought he was tweeting Dempster and sent a tweet to the wrong person.
"I'm so pissed right now, I could just throw up a bag of garbage. I don't need this. I'm a freaking dumpster for crying out loud. Don't he know that?"
And the tweeter didn't know that. He kept tweeting.
"He tells me that he is going to throw a ball at me. I don't need this. I'm a freaking dumpster for crying out loud. Don't he know that?"
Long story short, the tweeter finally realized it wasn't Dempster and he apologized to the Dumpster who didn't need it.
As reported here in the last week or so (and virtually nowhere else), the entire A-Rod/Bud Selig drama hinges on the unequal punishment the commissioner has tried to mete out to Alex with the ugly Biogenesis scandal.
Pretend you're a black man in a society that screws black men. You're in court. White guy gets nailed for possession and gets a suspended sentence, second one is a repeat offender and gets six months, third one is nailed for possession with intent to distribute and gets two years. You are up for your first time offense and get 40 to life! Nuff said?
The head of the now defunct clinic has virtually ZERO credibility as a witness - it's like Howie Spira II.
Did you know that, according to the Miami Herald, this clinic was also allegedly selling their "poison" to high school athletes in private schools? HIGH SCHOOL ATHLETES! He would throw anyone under the bus to avoid a maximum punishment.
Bud Selig could have given A-Rod the same 50 game suspension he gave most others, and then worked the other conspiracy charges into a "good of baseball" argument, but no1 He has overplayed his hand, much the same as a gambler who goes all-in with not that great a hand, hoping the bluff makes everyone else fold.
But he left A-Rod no room for compromise, especially after his camp mentioned how such a long suspension helps the Yankees get under the 2014 salary cap they have personally set. (No less than Buck Showalter has voiced his opinion that Alex being suspended for all of 2014 plays right into Yankees' management hands, and he fears that they will almost certainly steal away his catcher in 2015 or 16.)
Now comes Ryan Dempster (Ryan dipstick?), who thinks he's Damocles, and Brian O'Nora (an Irishman in Boston?) who doesn't punish the Boston player. Way to play is safe there Brian!
After the Red Sox took the lead last night, before they lost it, a man with a dumb mustache thought it was okay to start cheering. Little did he know that his dumb mustache would make it on live TV.
We couldn't talk to him, but we did manage to talk to another guy who also has a dumb looking mustache. His name is Cheech.
"Yeah, I have one. Looks idiotic, but I grow it anyway. This guy obviously thought that he wasn't going to be on TV. He looks like a fool."
We were not sure what he was doing when A-Rod hit the home run, but we are guessing he wasn't cheering. We will keep you posted if someone let's us know.
PS- The Yankees are getting exciting to watch again. Get great New York Yankees Tickets here. Get great seats at great prices.
That is the latest rumor from a jeweler in NYC.
Meet Hannah Davis.
She enjoys cartoons, silly bandz, princesses and dolls.
60 Minutes is reporting some juicy stuff.
“60 Minutes” has learned that members of New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez’s inner circle in February obtained and leaked documents that implicated Milwaukee Brewers slugger Ryan Braun as well as his own Yankees teammate, catcher Francisco Cervelli, in the doping scandal that has enveloped Major League Baseball.
The leak came just days after the weekly newspaper Miami New Times published documents in January detailing Rodriguez’s pervasive use of performance enhancing drugs."
This should go over well...
There seems to be some idea that the Yankees have a chance to go post season in 2013, but lest anyone get comfortable, remember what must take place OUT OF the Yankees' control: There are FIVE teams currently ahead of the Yankees for the wild card spots, therefore the Yankee must pass FOUR of them, but two are in the Central and one is in the West, so the limited chances to go head to head will almost certainly make things hugely difficult. Also, the teams above the Yankees in the East have been very consistent all year (Tampa and Baltimore).
Cleveland somehow is one of the teams, and from history, we can feel secure they will fold ... unless they score a coup of a deal by the 31st. But Kansas City is a team on the rise and may be good enough to stay in this race.
Out West, Oakland (many sportswriters' picks to win it all this year) leads in the WILD card race, so to the sportswriters (I agree), they will almost certainly win one of those wild cards (or the division)!
Texas, after having gotten hot in the last two weeks, were just inches ahead of Oakland for the division lead, and they could switch places easily, down the stretch.
The Yanks are currently 6 1/2 games behind Tampa Bay for the SECOND wild card, and if you think 6 1/2 games are easy to make up in 6-7 weeks, remember that the Yankees will need to do it without the leader coming back to them! And that's because if Tampa Bay should fold, someone ELSE will immediately take their place as the second wild card and the Yankees will be back to needing to do it themselves.
With that in mind, here is the easiest scenario for us: Tampa suddenly only plays .500 ball the rest of the way, and other teams do not take advantage, meaning they also falter, a very long odds possibility.
A few days ago, another would be terrorist was sentenced to thirty years for trying to blow up the federal reserve building in lower Manhattan, mere meters from the NY Stock Exchange!
He and his lawyer had this big, rambling apology that was supposed to sound so convincing ...
Judges have their jobs because they've heard it all. They are experienced at listening to BS apologies and/or family members swearing how innocent or sorry the perp "really" is.
Yes, what they're really sorry about was getting caught! (This putz had plans to do away with OTHER bastions of US commerce, too!)
How does this relate to the Yankees?
Well, who doesn't forgive Mo for blowing a save for the third time this season? After all, Adam Dunn drilling a pitch to the opposite field in the clutch to tie or win a game can be counted on the digits of a guy's genitalia!
(After two perfect strikes on the low outside corner, Mo got one just a tad more over the plate, still low, but Dunn, who is a dead pull hitter, was in swing to protect mode, and even then, the ball had "eyes", just as easily could have been a grounder to third or short!)
But when the Yankees re-took the lead in extra innings, and they no longer could go to Mo, the rest of the relief world goes into "nerves" mode, the result of which was a Chicago walk-off for the three game sweep. And remember, Chicago was 0-10 coming into that series! Ugh! Mo is forgiven, and the only reference made backward to that moment will be from some dipstick media person with a microphone in Mo's face!
Here is what he said.
“I really haven’t sat down and thought that far, but if that’s how he was able to hit in the postseason, then yeah, absolutely. Then you start going and saying, ‘Was anyone (else) on their team cheating?’
“There’s just so many different factors that determine if a team wins, and A-Rod was a huge determining factor. He was the MVP of the ALCS. He played a pretty huge part. Unfortunately, through the years, guys winning awards have been linked to something.”
As the weather continues to get warmer, more and more sharks have been seen at grocery stores, music festivals, and swimming near the shores of places where people swim and vacation.
"I didn't plan on seeing Jaws in the water." said Eric Tails who crapped his pants while vacationing in Cape Cod. "I just hoped that sharks weren't attracted to my poop. They wasn't and I am hear to tell the tale."
We are now learning that fisherman Hank Barnacles, who has been trying to learn if Great Whites suffer from depression for some dumb reason, is trying to warn the public about the possibility that a shark could end up at a baseball game.
"I waste a lot of time and money trying to figure out meaningless stuff about sharks. You've heard people say that anything is possible right? That is all I am saying." he said.
Although the likely hood of a shark getting a ticket to a game is rare, we are not counting it out.
"Have you seen the pictures on Yahoo of that kayaker? Do you think he expected it? I think that Granderson would be just as shocked if he saw a dorsal fin go by on the field. I am just saying, it could happen and we should be ready." he added.
Barnacles, who smells of rotten fish, never considered the possibility that sharks don't go on land and probably couldn't fit through the turnstiles, but he said he will stop at nothing to make sure his message gets to MLB.
"We have to prevent the next attack, even if it is at a stadium near you." he concluded
So, Ryan Braun (who skated on a technicality, while throwing his specimen collector under the bus) has accepted suspension for the remainder of the year. Since HE negotiated it, that ends it. No admission of guilt (remember Nolo Contendere from Nixon's first VP?) is made, but the punishment is identical.
Eleven other MLB players accepted 50 game suspensions, without appeal.
So why is A-Rod being offered 220 game suspension? And why does the collective media think we are all nine year olds?
For crying out loud, Bernie Madoff was treated more fairly than A-Rod, and Madoff stole BILLIONS. A-Rod pumped himself up and did he "steal" millions, or did he use his enhanced physicality to EARN million that the Yankees were only too glad to pay for those stats?
So now A-Rod has appealed his suspension, and thanks to the collective media "mistrying" him in the court of public opinion, he must try to play out his remaining games as the pariah of baseball.
Assume for a moment that he is as guilty as sin with regards to taking HgH. Then, why is he appealing this?
DUH! Seven weeks penalty for eleven others, and FIFTY-NINE weeks penalty for A-Rod!
Then, even Michael Kay (his own team's announcer) drops a dime on him by saying (on-the-air) that if he is innocent, then why won't he just claim such in an interview? (That's probably a case of Kay reverting to his old days as writer for the New York Post where one of his duties was to address football betting lines, telling readers which way to BET on games! Nice resume' there! The scandal mongering never leaves the blood?)
Bachelor of Arts from Fordham - hmmm- did you major in finishing sentences with prepositions?
A-Rod of course, refused to answer because he now has an ersatz legal case, and anything he says WILL be used against him! (IMO, he just wants the same seven week penalty offered the other eleven players.)