Chapter one - emergency room!
His first pitch of the Spring takes out Curtis Granderson's wrist and so begins an incredibly arduous team journey.
A-Rod won't be ready until (it turns out) August.
A seemingly innocuous wrist tendonitis turns into an entire season's nightmare for Teixiera.
Captain Derek keeps trying too hard for his body to keep up and he becomes a no show for the season, and this type of injury allows writers to question whether Derek is done for his career!
Grandy comes back and is promptly drilled AGAIN!
Youkilis' back drops him out of the lineup before he even gets any head of steam.
I'm too tired to dwell any further on this.
Chapter two - Smoke & mirrors!
After losing four of their first five, the Yankees go berserk in Cleveland after winning the get away Detroit game, and their record stands at 30-18 on May 25th, good enough for the division lead! But the magic fades with a thud and the Yankees lose four straight to the Mets! That's when we knew the season was a bust. More pain in a West Coast trip begins to seal the Yankees' fate, unless all other contenders become "nolo contenders". (all, that is, except Boston "on a mission"!
Chapter three - At least, we have Mo.
Yes, his juice had 1-2 less MPH on it. Yes, he was 44 and making his valedictory grand tour ... But all that and the blown saves aside, on September 4th, Mariano was TIED for the MLB lead in saves!! He had less blown saves than Johnson and would finish the season with less. Reasonably, repeat, reasonably, had the Yankees contended down the stretch instead of folding like a Kabuki fan, Mariano might just have led once more in saves, even while in his retirement year!
Wadsworth Ronings of Sleepy Hollow has worked out a deal in his head that would put Cano in Pinstripes, but for far less than he wants. His plan, which he calls "Operation take less" is sweeping accross his office and now we have received word of his intentions. He explains.
"I got the idea from watching Operation Dumbo drop. Well, I got the name from that anyway. My plan is to get Cano to sign for far less than he deserves. It makes sense. Think about it. Cano will be thrilled to play amongst other super stars and win a World Series in 2014. My plan you ask? Cano makes 2 million dollars a year. Other superstars also take 2 million a year. Thoughts? I like it."
Um, why would he take 2 million a year?
"He will win a World Series and with his smile, I believe he is a nice guy. Thoughts?"
We don't think he will go for that.
"Why not? Why wouldn't he?"
Because he is worth at least 23 million per year and there is no way he is taking less.
"That is where my plan gets better. We sign him for 200 years making him a 200 million dollar man. Pretty impressive isn't it?"
We are not sure if Cano will go for it, but it appears that Wadsworth has a well thought out plan.
I hope my correct forecast that this was the year of the Bosox saved our readers lots of lost wages.
I guess the first thing that brought those guys together was the marathon tragedy (and Big Poppi-seed's F-bomb laden speech). Later, it was the beard growth started by Mike Napoli and quickly adopted by the rest of the beard growing "lemmings", an obvious homage to Johnny Damon's 2004 hirsuteness?
But it was evident, even when the Yankee "magic act" lost its smoke ... that Boston could hit any team, and if their own pitching held up, they were the team to beat.
BTW - The Yankees didn't even score as many runs as they gave up, in 2013.
Now, the NY Times has sided with MLB in their targeting of A-Rod. The latest BS is stimulants (not counting coffee, tea, or 5-hour energy drink). Stimulants are regulated such that it requires two consecutive positive results to qualify for censure; but that didn't stop the Times, which cited one such "alleged" result vs A-Rod.
It used to be that the Times was considered the most "literate" journal in America, but I'm seeing just another scandal rag now because the print media is struggling to compete with the internet.
Of course, they still have the Hall of Fame vote (because it's the Baseball WRITERS of America who chooses the candidates, and they answer to only posterity).
Listen carefully to this list of players before I deliver the punch line: Cy Young, Tris Speaker, Jimmy Foxx, Joe DiMaggio, Joe Medwick, Paul Waner, and a host of other famous HoF members.
NONE of these greats made it past the BBWAA on the first ballot !! NONE!
I'll be the first one to say that the writers are perhaps the best arbiters of which players deserve induction - but in no way should they resort to personal invective. But they do.
First of all, "Obstruction" is part of the game, and the rules absolutely need to be enforced or players would constantly gain an edge by hip checking, hooking, even grabbing!
With references to hockey and football, the last thing we should want is to devolve this sport away from displays of skill.
Had not Jim Joyce made the tough call (and my money was on the Sox), it would have been the THIRD time I watched a series game hinge on a blown rules infraction NOT enforced by the umpires!
Why is this even possible with the Commissioner in attendance (or at least communications range)?
In 1934, in game 7 of the World Series, there was an incident with future Hall of Famer (and future and last NL triple crown winner) Joe (Ducky) Medwick, in which he tripled in the top of the 6th in Detroit, and in going into third base, even though he was clearly safe, he took out the Tiger third baseman (and 2 for 29 hitter) Marv Owen. Following a RBI single by Ripper Collins, St. Louis led 9-0 (and would finished 11-0 under Dizzy Dean).
When Medwick took his place in LF in the bottom of the inning, the fans showered him with debris, "probably imported from the bottom of the Detroit River", or so it would seem!
Remember, this town would go on to infamy when celebrating their VICTORY in 1984 by overturning and setting fire to cars! Imagine how they felt about losing!
When alerted to the situation, Judge Kennesaw Mountain Landis, the Commissioner who had no problem banning Shoeless Joe Jackson from baseball, ordered Medwick to his box and asked him directly if he scissored out the legs of Owen.
And I may be paraphrasing here, but he essentially answered, "Yeah, but that's the way I always play!"
Landis ordered Medwick out of the game for his own safety! (You could look it up!)
So a commissioner making a decision in the middle of a World Series game would NOT be unprecedented.
After the Red Sox traded Babe Ruth to the Yankees, they went on to have 237 consecutive losing seasons. It was known as the Curse of the Bambino, as the Yankees would go on to win hundreds of World Series titles.
But since 2004, the Red Sox have reversed the curse and have won 2 titles, and are playing for a third this year.
Yankees fan and archeologist buff Sammy "Indiana" Stevenson has come up with what he calls a fool proof plan to revers the Red Sox recent fortunes.
"We dig up Ruth." Indiana told us. "It's simple. We excavate the bones of the Bambino and the curse will be placed back on Boston. They will go one-hundred more years of losing!"
How the hell is digging up Ruth's body going to cause that?
Indiana dropped the shovel and ran off into the woods. We started doubting that he is a real archeologist at that point.
Is Boston going to win its 3rd World Series in ten years?
Down 0-3 to the Yankees with Matsui surgically disemboweling them, the Red Sox (whether intentionally or not) began drilling Yankee batters and certainly making them knee knockers at the plate. And while the Yankee offense went South, so did the pitching, now that there were no runs to spare.
They even got to Mo and rode that wave to an unprecedented 4 straight comeback win; and with the Yankees (the century long bane or pain in the collective Boston behinds), they blasted the Cardinals, avenging 1946 and 1967 WS to boot!
But that vibe doesn't exist here - the beards were tired the nanosecond they emerged, the Boston defense still leaves a lot to be desired. (I'm not saying they don't make great plays on D - but they fail to make pressure ROUTINE plays, often.)
The Cardinals have something to prove with an attempted WS sans Pujols, and they are energized.
Boston should (repeat should) beat them in seven, except for that lame NL rule of no DH (when the rest of the ballplaying world uses it). It is now the only gimmick (if you will) by which the Cardinals can steal this show!
No Poppi, limited use of Napoli in St. Louis - Boston may need 3 out of 4 in Boston.
As I write this, Mike Francesa has just announced the passing of Bill Mazer (the "amazing"). This broadcast great had a steel trap mind, and not just regarding baseball! He knew everything about EVERY sport, answering on the air many trivia challenges that readers guaranteed he couldn't answer.
My question about the record set by Tom Zachary (the man who gave up Ruth's #60 in 1927), but Tom Zachary in 1929, pitching for the Yankees set a MLB record that still stands. Bill Mazer stated that "we never recognized it as any kind of record, just as an 'aside' ".
Mike continues to effusively lob respect on this man, and rightfully so. BILL MAZER was the single greatest sports trivia expert we have ever seen, bar none!
Top 10 MLB Teams:
1 New York Yankees $3.3 Billion
2 Los Angeles Dodgers $2.1 Billion
3 Boston Red Sox $2.1 Billion
4 New York Mets $2.1 Billion
5 Chicago Cubs $1.3 Billion
6 San Francisco Giants $1.2 Billion
7 Baltimore Orioles $1.1 Billion
8 Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim $1.1 Billion
9 Philadelphia Phillies $1 Billion
10 Texas Rangers $1 Billion
Bottom Six MLB Teams:
25 Miami Marlins $595 Million
26 Oakland Athletics $590 Million
27 Colorado Rockies $580 Million
28 Cleveland Indians $575 Million
29 Kansas City Royals $540 Million
30 Tampa Bay Rays $530 Million
The Red Sox players have grown gross and disgusting beards all year long. Now, we are learning that another man who has a beard that he recently trimmed, is looking to trim more.
Melvin Mallards explains:
"I grew a beard for 5 months straight when I was playing on a wiffle ball team in my local town. I got fired from my job, but it was worth it." said Mallards
So, we heard you trimmed it.
"Yes I most certainly did. I did it all by myself and now I want to trim others." he added
Mallards did cut his nose off by mistake, but thinks this time he will do a better job.
"I will maybe." he concluded."
A 1 hitter against Boston, in Boston ... tells me the umpire was Larry Vanover or Joe West, and sure enough as I researched it, it was Joe west. (Vanover umped in the Bosox/Tampa series, so maybe we get spared him in the WS.)
But if it goes seven, Joe West has the plate again - oh, the horrors!
NL Dodgers were prohibitive faves from May until late August, but their lack of experience has sent them packing like the 76 Royals.
But Boston and Detroit, two of the top hitting teams in the MLB having two 1-0 games is ludicrous - yawn.
This all reminds me of the 74 Series between Oakland and the Dodgers 3-2, 3-2, 3-2, 3-1, and 3-2. Naturally , it is known as the 3-2 series.
I just spent a month in hospitals and I get tired more quickly now, so I'll cut to some trivia...
The Yankees have the record at 14, but two teams currently have 9 game WS winning streaks! Who and who?
Reggie hit 10 WS homers. In what ball park did he hit most of them?
I'll root for Boston to go all the way so I can see another (fake) Mastercard ad in which they cut off Dennis Leary's other nut!
Take care, for now.
This is a quality shirt made out of soft material and fits perfectly.
Pick up yours today.
Click Here: Buy one Today at the Goblin Store
We appreciate it
* A portion of all sales goes to support ALS Research.