A toll-free phone number that the Yankees used during the 2008 and 2009 seasons for tickets is now a phone sex hotline.

“Welcome to America’s hottest talk line,” a recording says, according to the Post. “Guys, hot ladies are waiting to talk to you. Press 2 to connect free now.”

Could this be where ARod has been hiding out?

"I think it's great." Said one sleazy looking guy. "It beats watching them lose. They stink."

With the price of Yankees tickets to a Yankees game these days, looks like no matter which number you call, you get screwed.

Yuk yuk yuk

After a Florida woman claims to have found a Goldfish Cracker with religios imagary, a New York City resident is claiming to have something better - a popcorn kernal that bears a striking resemblance to Jesus.

"I like to pop popcorn." Said Shifty Lemmings, a 33 year old busboy. "I pop pocorn while watching Yankees games. I like it with extra butter. Anyway, i'm eating some popcorn last night,watching the Yankees win. Suddenly I look down and there it is. A miracle!"

Lemmings presented what he claims to be the religious kernal.

"I have seen the light! I call it Popcorn Jesus!"

We mentioned that it looked like a picture cut out of a magazine and covered with butter.

"No its real! I will be happy to take Popcorn Jesus on major news networks. If anyone wants to do a reality show based on me, that's cool too."

We're not sure what Shifty has is a miracle, but the Yankees did win last night so you never know.

Orlando Cooney has been sober 4 years to the date, but all that changed when a friend peer pressured him into drinking a "few" beers from his parents basement. Orlando quit drinking after he woke up one sunny morning in North Dakota.

What did he do you ask? For starters he is from NY and had no plans on going to North Dakota. Then again, who does for that matter? I always hear how there are tons of good paying jobs there. You want to know why? Because no one wants to work in North Dakota.

Anyway, the Yankees started playing well today and Orlando's drunk friend Beeksley Adams had an idea.

"I thought Orlando would like to try a beer. After all, he had been so good for 4 years. He should probably celebrate that achievement with a beer." said Beeksley who is unemployed and considers himself a full time beer tester.

We weren't sure if that was the best idea.

"Hops are good for you" said bad friend Beeksley Adams. "What is the worst that can happen. Just because he is an alcoholic doesn't mean he can't have a few beers. They say it is good to have a beer once in a while."

That logic doesn't hold true for recovering alcoholics though. Especially during a day game on a Monday.

"I guess I was slightly wrong." said Beeksley.

Yankees win big time as they look forward to game 2.

The Yankees Mariano farewell tour stopped in Detroit over the weekend and the Tigers gave Mariano a present.

What was it? Was it an iPad? Chocolate covered strawberries?

Nope, the Tigers got him dirt. That is right, they got him dirt. It was dirt from old Tiger Stadium and dirt from the new Stadium.

Gee, thanks Tigers. I can't wait to put dirt somewhere in the house. We talked to one guy who we think came up with the idea.

"Yeah, they told me to think of ideas. I just bent down and grabbed some dirt. It makes me look like a cheap skeet, but what can you do." added a guy who may be a dirt collector.

We think that it was a lousy gift. Seeing if Mariano wanted dirt so bad, he could just bend over and pick it up himself.

There are many more stadiums on the tour this year. Perhaps Mo can get some grass clippings or trash next. Who knows!

TiqIQ's job is to find the best deals out for you on the market and you may want to check out RazorGator for Yankees tickets

1960 ended badly for the Yankees, with the shocking demise at the hands of the heavy underdog Pirates, the forced retirement of Casey Stengel, and an elevation to Manager that Ralph Houk really didn't expect, or want.

Roger Maris, who in August was vying for triple crown, got hurt, then came back to fall off to a decent workmanlike .283 and a league leading 112 RBI, but his HRs fell off (he wasn't hitting in front of Mantle but behind him in 1960) and he hit none after Sept. 16th, to finish with 39, one behind teammate Mantle for the HR crown.

Mickey, on the other hand, had belted six in that same period to capture his fourth homer title, with 40.

So they were poised to roll in the series, but fate had another outcome.

In 1961, Ralph Houk went to Whitey Ford and asked him if he could pitch every 4th day, and he said, "Damned right I could!" So that was all set.

Then Houk told Mickey that they pitched around Roger quite often, especially if Mickey was on base, so because Mick was a switch hitter, he wanted him to bat 4th instead of third, and he reminded Mickey that he was the team leader, and that it might prove better for the "team". Mickey agreed.

Then, Roger got off to a terrible start (1 Hr in April), whereas Mickey jumped into the league lead (7 April HRs) and carried the team through the early part of the season.

Gambling Jim Stevens is about to lose $43,000.

He bet that the Yankees wouldn't win one game this year. As it stands right now, he is likely to lose that bet.

"I thought it was a sure thing. I mean with all of the injured Yankees, how could I not win?" he added as he is close to flat broke.

Since no team has ever lost every game, we have no idea how he thinks its a sure thing. Jim's wife left him 3 years ago when he put her in the pot during a poker game. Some stranger won her and she wasn't too happy.

"I guess I probably shouldn't have bet her, but I could have just as easily double my winnings. I love the buffet's in Vegas" he added as he was taking his watch off as part of the payment.

We are sure glad the Yankees might get a win. We don't want to jinx it.

The Yankees are off to a dismal 0-2 start and fans everywhere are already angry.

Derek Tantrum is already excited for next year.

"Bring on 2014. Im sick of losing. Good thing i'm also a fan of the Nationals."

Seems a bit quick to be giving up.

Can the Yankees avoid the sweep tonight?