Jeter will be saying goodbye

Bronx Goblin exclusive interview with Marshawn Lynch

Despite limited credentials, our crack reporter was able to do what no other media person was able to - sit down for a one on one interview with Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch.

Our reporter was sure to ask the really important questions that all the top reporters ask.

BG: Are you happy to be playing in the Superbowl?

Marshawn Lynch:

BG: Do you expect the Seahawks to beat the Broncos?

Marshawn Lynch:

BG: If Seattle scores more points than Denver, do you think they will win?

Marshawn Lynch:

BG: Do those dreadlocks get hot in the summer?

Marshawn Lynch:

Well there you have it

Fan wants Cold Weather World Series

The Superbowl this year will be played at Giants Stadium and sports experts have been debating if having the championship decided in cold and snow is fair.

One fan, Quint Bottomsworth, who isn't an expert at anything, not only thinks a cold weather Superbowl is great but wants baseball to do the same.

"No more of this back and forth between the cities of the teams playing. It's time these million dollar cry babies man up." Quint told us. "I say we make a World Series Field in Kaktovik. It will be great!"

Where the hell is Kaktovik?

"Uh gee, it's the northern most point in Alaska stupid. The average temperature is 2 degrees. It once got to -65. And they have Polar Bears. Make these wimpy ball players man up and earn their keep."

Sources confirmed, no one at MLB is even considering Quint's proposal.

Man bets on Pro Bowl, then realizes he has gambling problem

Man bets on Pro Bowl, then realizes he has gambling problem

Sherman Crackers of Watertown NY has been betting on games his whole life. His success rate at winning is 7% and he prides himself on consistency. Some of his buddies told him that Sportsbook Review has a complete rating guide that could help him out, but he never seems to listen to anyone.

"I once won $4,000. I think I am doing pretty darn good for myself." he said.

As we talked to a little longer we quickly realized that he may have won $4,000, but in total, he has lost $284,000. In other words, he is kind of in the hole for $280,000. That is a Lamborghini for Pete's sake.

"Big freaking deal. So my kids won't be able to go to college. People are skipping it anyway now a days." added Sherman, who bet his school tuition that he would graduate. As you can probably tell, he lost that too. "I think that I am a new aged person

It wasn't until Sunday that he realized that he may have a problem. No one even watches the game, more less bets on it. What a fool.

"Well, I guess the fact that I bet on the worst, most useless game in the universe and lost, woke me up a bit." he added. "I've woken up with my face in pizza boxes before, so I know how low I can go. Hey that rhymes."

With that interview, we did come to the realization that at least one person actually watched the game. We are guessing that is probably the extent of it. Most were watching the Grammys and we were in total shock that people actually bet on the Pro Bowl. Betting on the Pro Bowl is like betting on a sitcom. They are both fake. Anyway, Let's see if Sherman can stay strong during the Super Bowl.

Can you? 

Robinson the 3rd wheel Cano tags along at the Grammy's with Jay-Z

A rumor that was started by a completely unreliable source is saying that Cano also worked in a trip to the Grammys in his contract.

"I definitely think he could have or not done this." Said expert detail mixer upper Don Hanigans. "If he did, he is positioning himself good. I think or not."

It looked like Cano had some fun... and wouldn't you if you were making 240 Million?

Gomes rips ARod, sounds really dumb doing it

Gomes speaks. Well kind of.

"He does steroids or whatever, it sucks. He does this or that, it sucks. He's always in the news, it sucks," the Red Sox left fielder told the Boston Herald. "But this is
the players' union he's going against. It's all of us. Not a real good idea." 

"I said what I said," Gomes said. "I'm not trying to make anything or [say] it was taken out of context or all these riff raffs that people want to come up with. First of all, to have a rivalry, there has to be a villain. Why not pick the big guy with tattoos and a big beard or Mohawk and plays the game how he plays. Boom, let's pick that guy for the villain. That's pretty easy. But what did I say? I think the Yankees is one of the most professional organizations that you can get. 

"It's not talking trash. It's just questions. Are they questions? Sure. I don't think I talk trash by any means. I don't talk trash. ... I think with 10 years in the big leagues it's a little late for a character check to Jonny Gomes and try and make me into the villain that I'm not."

Idiots react to the signing of Tanaka.

Idiots react to the signing of Tanaka.

Idiot #1
"I hope he isn't the same as Kei Igawa or Irabu. That would stink. We don't need no freaking bum who eats up our money."

~Sal - Who wears Yankee everything.

Our response to Sal: Why are you only comparing Tanaka to other Japanese pitchers? Carl Pavano and Randy Johnson sucked for us too!


Idiot #2

"I am going to wear my "Got Rings" T-Shirt tomorrow at work. It's gonna be freaking awesome. There are a bunch of Red Sox fans there. I am going to go up to them and just point at the rings bitches..."

~ Luke, a complete fool who still gets heated over the Boston rivalry even though he is 49 years old.

Our response to Luke: No one cares about your "Got Rings" shirt. Stop living in the past.


Idiot #3

"Addition of Tanaka very very good. He pitch long time and very well. He restore honor to Yankee and Yankee fans."

~ Patrick O'Sullivan - Irish pub owner

Our response: Sure.

The comments will continue to roll in. What do you think of this signing?

New book from the writers of Bronx Goblin.

New book from the writers of Bronx Goblin!

"Idiots are Everywhere"

About the book:

Ever eat? work? Shop? Use a public bathroom? or Drive anywhere? Did you ever encounter someone and say to yourself.. "What an Idiot!" Did you say yes? Did you expect a response from me? If so, I apologize. This is a book and I can't respond to you, but I 'hear ya.' "Idiots Are Everywhere" is divided into 10 sections, each filled with comical analysis and invented interviews designed at capturing the mindset of everyday people as they go about their lives and are forced to interact with others. You may never look at a normal situation again after reading this book.

Buy the critically acclaimed masterpiece here

We appreciate your support and want to sell more copies than Oprah or Rachel Ray.

Will Tanaka become "mass hero"?

Yankees singing of Masahiro Tanaka blows away the "189" goal, but it also shows commitment to the fans.

Potential negatives - 
1. The teams and pitchers he faced don't equate to MLB teams and their #1 starters.
2. Japan pitchers generally pitch once per week.
3. He won't have Mariano to save his sushi (i.e. bacon).
4. Umpires have generally screwed Japanese pitchers on the corners.

Positives - 
1.Those who have seen him pitch swear he's the "real" thing!
2. In America, he would only start an additional 7 or 8 regular season games.
3. But somebody will pitch where Mariano used to pitch - it's upon what "WAR" stat is based, and it's truly unknown at this point.
4. With new MLB scrutiny (and Darvish tapes), the days of umpiring with an agenda should be over.
5. This kid just turned only 25 and he's already 99-35 with four seasons over .700 win pctge (and two more over .600).
6. No sleight of build, this guy prints out at 6'2" and 205.
7. No draft pick to lose, this is cash and carry!
8. Tanaka desperately wants to pitch for historically revered Yankees, like Matsui did.
9. Like Matsui, Tanaka wants to earn WS MVP on way to ring!

10? Next October, he won't have to worry about losing his home and/or health while Topanga Canyon or Las Flores Canyon burn under Santa Ana wind driven wildfires during the WS.

You may have heard of his 24-0 1.27 last season.
Two years earlier, he also posted 19-5 with ERA of 1.27 while striking out nearly 60 more, had most complete games and shutouts of his career in what many scouts have called his greatest season. Last year was essentially an encore.

I've watched his splitter drop and it makes me cringe to think "someone" hit that pitch, or his ERA would be 0.00.
The biggest question might be pitching with the differently sized American baseball, but his body size suggests it should not become a major problem.

Amazing, how many sportscasters cite erroneous stats to make their points

Maybe YES got tired of Mike Francesa's ego show. Certainly, it was unprofessional for him to be seen on TV disconnecting a caller then continuing to shout at them, as if they were still on the line!

Let me say again, up front - Mike is quite knowledgeable in a great many sports.

But that being said, it wouldn't hurt to admit an error, especially to a nit-picker, and let the audience decide if it was important.

Mike went out of his way to claim Maddux had the greatest ERA+ (which measures ERA vs the league standard for that year) than anyone else in history, and that it wasn't even close. I didn't hear him qualify it by starters only.

Maddux ERA+ with Atlanta only would have been best among starters, but overall, the best ERA+ among starters goes to Pedro Martinez. But the nonsense about it not even being close is with Mariano Rivera, whose MLB Record ERA+ is ridiculously far ahead of even Pedro's.

Now you're thinking - Yes, but relievers give up runs charged to previous pitchers, and with closers, it ends the game before they give up ERs of their own. That doesn't hold true with today's modern closers, especially Mariano who came in to START the inning and inherited no runners.

Am I nitpicking? Mike was in the middle of a call, yelling it like was gospel. (Mario Cuomo used the term effectively, even when BSing the public, simply by saying, "Everybody KNOWS that!")

Today on Sportscenter, I heard more of the same nonsense -  Under what stars was Mike Piazza the greatest hitting catcher in history?

Ernie Lombardi needed a double to get to first base, was clearly a better hitter than Piazza, but he DID finish one point lower in lifetime BA. But Bill Dickey didn't! Dickey batted five points higher. So much for that nonsense. Of course, Piazza combined his BA with homers, and some rumor, with PEDs, hence not enough votes. But he'll get in.

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