Yankees sign third mediocre right handed outfielder Juan Rivera

Juan Rivera is familiar with the Yankees. After all he started there. Then, he went to other teams including the Angels and actually hit well. Now that Juan is back to hitting crappy, the Yankees decided it was a good time to bring him back.

Yankee fan and full time bottle collector Miles Backspeed explains.

"Juan Rivera was good, now he is not. Why the heck would the Yankees want him back? For what? So we can say we have a right handed hitter who can't hit? That is for the birds." he said as he was visibly upset.

Backspeed is known in his neighborhood for collecting the most Mello-Yellow soda cans out of anyone he knows.

"They are probably my most valuable ones." he added.

We thought that all of the bottles were only worth $.05, but we didn't want to upset Miles anymore.

"I like it when I find some that still have soda in them. Those are a rare find, but good treats." he said as his face just lit up.

It appears that Miles has found a treat, but did the Yankees in Juan Rivera?


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