Red Sox sign Mike Carp, thought they were getting Mike Trout.

"We got our fishes messed up." joked a man believed to be a Red Sox official. "I thought we were getting that other good fish Trout, instead we got a stinky fish named carp. Who knew?"

Mike Carp was horrendous to say the least in the Major Leagues. He hit in the .213 range last year, when he wasn't playing in the minors. Its not like he was on a good team either, which makes it worse. He was so bad last year the the Seattle Mariners couldn't even find a full time spot for him.

"Now what? Do we have to keep him? Can we throw him back?" added that same person believed to be an official, although each time we talk to him, we believe less and less.

It is unclear if the the Red Sox lured Carp over with a lure or if they used fresh bait.

"I don't even like fish." cried that guy less likely to be an official "I only like genetically modified food and drinks, like Doritos and Soda. I refuse to exercise, because it wastes too much time and energy I could put to better use like watching TV." he added for no apparent reason.

We will keep a close eye to see what the Red Sox are planning to do with Trout, I mean Bass, I mean Carp. Meanwhile the only news on the Yankees is Phil Hughes wussing out with a sore back. Keep checking back as the Spring begins to heat up.


MATSUIFAN INC. 2007