Man won't attend any Yankee games this year for fear of getting the flu

Meet Brandon Tales of Kingston NY. Brandon is a complete germaphobe and moron. He has spent the last two months at home and will not leave the house. He is scared to catch the flu and will stop at nothing to make sure he is safe. He has even canceled his season Yankee tickets just in case and doesn't plan on visiting the Stadium this year.

He explains.

"I just quit my job as an astronaut. Well, not really an astronaut. I actually just watch a lot of space movies. I guess you could say astronaut actually." he added

Brandon studied general arts in school, which basically means he has a useless degree.

"I applied for an open position as an eye surgeon because I know it pays well. Apparently they were only accepting qualified Dr.'s, so I didn't get that one. After that rejection, I decided to focus on staying away from germs. That is why I haven't left my house since. I guess looking back on things, what I did made absolutely no sense." he added.

We asked him about his Yankee tickets.

"I am not going to any Yankees games. The flu has broken out all over the world. Dogs and cats have it, my pet emu Sam I think has it and I have even heard that someone's car contracted it. This is real. This is scary. I am staying away. I went to get the flu shot, but they ran out. I ended up making out with a 78 year old lady that had the flu shot. I think she passed on the vaccine to me. That is supposed to work right?" he added

Who do you think has more problems, Brandon or the Yankees?


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