Man upset that wife gave birth at 12:01 this morning

Yankees fan and idiot Jonathan Twelvski really really really wanted his wife to give birth to their first child yesterday on 12/12/12. She didn't quite make it and the Twelvski family welcomed a healthy baby boy into the world early this morning.

Most people would be overcome with joy.

"I had it al planned out." Twelvski said. "12 is my favorite number. I played tee-ball as a kid. My jersey number? 12. My favorite mythological monster? The 12 headed dragon. My favorite Shakespeare play? The Twelfth Night. You notice a pattern? The kid would have been born on 12/12/12. That's epic stuff. I was gonna name him Twelve. Twelve Twelvski. He would have played ball and worn jersey number 12. I was gonna get a huge Roman numeral XII tattooed to his back. His 12th birthday? Let's just say it would have been off the hook."

Well congrats on the new baby anyway.

"That wife of mine couldn't give me this one damn thing. 12/12/12. It was a once in a lifetime thing. It won't happen again for another 100 stinking years. You know, on 12/12/2112."

Yeah we get it. After this interview it may be 100 years before Jonathan has another chance with his wife anyway.


MATSUIFAN INC. 2007