Hank Steinbrenner has been chosen to be the most Un-Sexiest Man Alive

Earlier today, it was announced that People magazine's Swedish selection committee has chosen Channing Tatum to be the winner of its Sexiest Man Alive medal.

It even got reactions from some of Hollywood's most arrogant actors like George Clooney, who would probably marry himself if it were legal.

"As long as it wasn't Brad Pitt" said a confident Clooney who thought he was hilarious.

On a positive note: At least we didn't hear from Pitt, who is most likely making a donation to a 4th world country and will hold a press conference or set up some special show so everyone knows that he did it. Ever notice that? Try out being anonymous for once.

But even with all of this hoopla, you probably didn't know that Hank Steinbrenner has been chosen to be the most Un-Sexiest Man Alive.

This selection was decided after much debate. A panel of 12 losers convened for hours in a poorly lit room in NYC. They took into consideration the amount of Cigarette's smoked and most likely consumed, size of gut, food on clothing, bad breath, foot odor and potty mouth.

Hank won hands down in every category. We caught up with "Mr." Sebastian Flamerson, one of the panelists of this historic event.

"Oh, this event was just fabulous. We guesstimated that Hank must smoke at least 8 packs of cigarettes a day and most likely eats two packs. His wardrobe.... hated it. His Hygiene... move over kitty litter...hated it. He needs a whole new make over." said Flamerson.

Steinbrenner couldn't be reached for comment as his mouth was probably full with Cheetos.


MATSUIFAN INC. 2007