Discussing baseball with Dennis Miller?

We came across a bearded homeless man who was using big words and ranting about nonsense. We naturally assumed it had to be comedian and fox news “analyst” Dennis Miller so we decided an interview was in order. He did most of the talking.

BG: Mr. Miller, what’s your take on the baseball season so far?

Miller: Two words, apocalyptic now, what else can you say? LOOK, the Boston red Sox and Tampa Rays are a combined 2-14 to start, what are they the Detroit Lions? I don’t think the Byzantine Empire crumbled in less time under Charlemagne. And if you’re a fan of the Astros forget it. Your odds of survival would be better on the RMS Titanic ten minutes after striking a billion year old Mesoproterozoic Era iceberg. And how about Mariano Rivera? The guys the greatest closer ever but he’s so old I think the Sumerians had reference to Mo’ etched into their undercrofts.

BG: So who is your all time favorite player?

Miller: Gotta be Joe “56 in a row” DiMaggio greatest center fielder of all time, LOOK the guy scored runs to win world series games and he scored with Marilyn Monroe and Dolores Del Monte in the same night not to mention he had more mafia contacts than Anthony tough Tony Anastasio.

BG: Predictions?

Miller: This season could go either way, it's about as predictable as a Texas freeway with an 85 mph speed limit, LOOK the bottom line is this is if Napoleon Bonepart can escape from Elba unscathed and some Tea Party clown can capture the votes in the 7th district of Spartanburg then any team has a shot at the world series, and don't worry, i'll be here if you need to speak to me again

BG: Thanks for the warning