Bed Bugs in New York City. Is Yankee Stadium next?

Bed Bugs are surging in NYC this summer. Yankees officials bracing for the worst?

We have learned from the Scientists for Bed Bug Research and Stuff (SBBRS) that Bed Bugs have released a warning to Yankees officials on the Bed Beg Network (BBN- Channel 1145 on Time Warner).

The warning, alarming as it was, stated this:

“Dear Hank,

We are prepared to stop at nothing to infest your cigarette stash and the entire Stadium this summer. We have been getting it on like rabbits in the offseason and will be taking the 4 train up to 161st Street when you least expect it.” BBN reported.

We couldn’t get a hold of Hank, so we did the next best thing and interviewed a heavy smoker with a big mouth Jimmy Kaputz.

“Bring it Bed Bugs!” he said in the form of one long burp.

It is rumored that the Yankees officials are looking to buy a gigantic zip up mattress case that will fit over the entire stadium to keep out the pests.

“Yes, we are looking in to it, but are waiting for an internet coupon code before making the purchase.” Said a man who we believe is a Yankees official.

To protect your mattresses from bed bugs, check out a certified mattress encasement.